After your death
by Saaabric
Summary: Olivia gives her life for Elliot's. What happens when she's gone? EO   I know guys that you want me to go on! but this is the end,, sorry  anyways, i'm writing a new story 'Make a memory' it will be up soon! Love!
1. Chapter 1

It was typical day in their lives. This night Olivia had invited him to have a beer at her place to talk.

It was hard time in their lives. They were tired about job, about life, about everything.

At about 7pm Elliot knocked her door and she opened it. Without saying a word each one sat on the couch like every afternoon in her house.

"How are you?" he asked. It sounded so ironical to ask her that, she was his partner and he didn't know how she was. It was ironical.

"Tired, tired about work, tired about waiting." She answered tired. Tired about waiting? It was a big question she has to make herself every night before to go to sleep. Was she really tired about waiting?

"What are you waiting for?" he asked smiling, really wanting to know. Their work was crab; maybe her life was as tiring as his. Yes, maybe her life was like his.

"Tired of waiting for him." She answered. He didn't know if she was drunk at this time, or if it was Olivia who was talking. Something was telling him that she was sober.

"The man that you love?" he asked. He really needed to know, because he also loves someone. A very special woman, a very sweet, intelligent, lovely, beautiful, careful woman.

"Yes." She answered with a laugh at the end. She wasn't really thinking of telling him this part of her life. She hasn't told anyone about this.

"He doesn't love me, but I love him like hell." She said taking another sip of her beer.

"I also love a woman that loves someone else." He said sadly. It sounded like if their lives were miserable, and it was without the person that each of them loves.

"I'm sure that I'll die for him in any moment, I'll give my life for his without thinking about it." She said before falling asleep on her couch.

Without making any noise, he walked away and went to his house. He needed to think right now.

CHAPTER TWO: A new situation.

It was a typical Monday at the 1-6. It was full of work and full of crab.

She was sitting on her chair thinking about this man, the one she loves. It was true, she would give her life for his without thinking about it.

Just then, out of the blue, Don walked out of his office. "Stabler, Benson, your guy is in the warehouse." He shouted in the middle of the room.

Each of them took their coats and he drove to the warehouse. It was dark and a very big place, so they decided to divide.

Within minutes of walking alone, she started to feel scared for the first time in years. She heard a noise, like if someone has just hit Elliot with something.

When she ran near him, she saw him sitting on the floor resting his back to the wall. "Get up, we have to get out of here." She said helping him to get up and walk away with her.

"We have to stay," he said but she shook her head again.

Both heard it, they heard it and they saw how the guy ran away laughing. She was in his arms standing like they were a second ago, but something was different.

Her eyes were staring at his full with tears. "Are you ok?" he asked worried, but she didn't say a word.

She was in silence with tears on her eyes. One tear fell down her face as she looked to her hand. It was covered with blood as she had touched her back.

He shook his head and tears started to form in his eyes. "It can't be." He said.

She was tense "I'm… … sorry…" she said as she could. It was hard to breath at this time. It hurts so much.

"You're going to be ok, help is coming." He said trying to convince himself that she was going to be ok.

Her face was shocked and with pain. She tried to speak but it hurt so much, that she talked slowly. "It's… … ok… …" she said and asked him if they could lie in the floor. Because it was hurting her to be on her foot.

He was sitting and she lying on his arms. It was raining, but he knew she was crying like he was.

"Remember… that… … … I've… … … told you… … … that I… … … I… would… … … die… … for… him? … … … it's… … happening…… I… I… need… … to… … tell you… … … tell you… … … that… … I… … love you." She said crying and he knew she was crying.

He couldn't believe this was happening to them. She was leaving.

"Don't go, I love you more than you can ever imagine Liv." He said and started to cry harder as she closed her eyes.

He put her body closer to his, so now she was with him. He hugged her death body and cried "Not for me! Not for me!" he shouted angry and sad at the same time.

He hugged her until a paramedic came and asked him to move. He didn't, he didn't move from his position. He couldn't let them take her away from him.

CHAPTER THREE: The new beginning.

He was sitting on her office like every Monday since that day.

"How are you feeling Elliot?" Rebecca Hendrix asked him.

"I've been better." He said. He has been cold; he hasn't talk to anyone like before since that day.

Therapy wasn't helping; he has started seeing Rebecca since that day. But he wasn't feeling better.

Every question she asked, he answered with a cold and stupid answer. So she decided to ask a stupid question. "Which was the last day that you remember that rained?" she asked with a laugh at the end.

He made a small laugh and answered. "It was raining when she died." He said and she was surprised.

It was the first time they could talk about that day. "You know what day is today?" she asked and he nodded wiping a tear away from his eye.

"May 12th, it is her one year death anniversary." He said knowing how ironically that sounded. Her death anniversary?

"Can we talk about it?" she asked and he nodded.

"What is the last thing you remember from that day?" Rebecca asked trying to be gentle with this subject.

"Her face, she was in pain." He said calm. But she knew he was calm when something was really bothering him, or he was sad about something.

"I'm so sorry, tell me about that day." She said hearing with patient everything he was saying.

"It was my fault, she told me that we had to go away, but I didn't listen to her and stood there. She loved me and I didn't notice it." He said sadly and with tears on his face.

"Tell me about things you remember about her." Rebecca said trying to make a small smile. But she couldn't. She remembered that day when Don told her about what had happened. She cried, she cried when he told her. Olivia had been her friend for sometime, she was very sad when he told her.

"When we were boring here at the squad room, she used to throw me some papers plans and we laugh about it. We used to trust each other and I really miss her." He said smiling when he remembered moments with her.

"It's good to remember happy moments at her side. Think about it Elliot. I know you are not going to come here anymore because you think it doesn't help you, and I respect it, but it does help. Tell me… have you ever thought about… killing yourself?" she asked hesitating.

"To be honest, yes. I have thought about it. But when I look to my kid's photo I can't pull the trigger." He answered honestly.

"Killing yourself it's not a solution, talking is a solution. I know it is hard for you and for everyone, and I also know that talking about it is painful and is not going to make you forget her. Believe me it is not, but it can help you to TRY to go on." She admitted softly.

He thought about it for a minute. "You don't imagine how it is to dream about that day every damn night, to think about it almost all the time, living with that fault all your life. It's been a year and I can't think about another thing! I just can't." he said standing up.

Once out of the room he started his new trip back to his car.

CHAPTER FOUR: Dreams.

Rebecca Hendrix was in her house a minute after Elliot has left. She knew it was going to be a long and painful way for Elliot right now. The only thing she could offer was her compressive ear.

She knew she couldn't make him forget about her, but she's gonna try to make him feel better. After a year of therapy she almost gave up, but when he started to talk she felt very sad and wanted to help him.

Maybe it was a long way… and she was ready to start it.

After a short talk with herself she made a coffee and sat on her couch in front of the fireplace. There was a short knock on her front door, and she knew it was Elliot. The way he knocks was unique.

"Hi there." She said smiling. "I knew you'll come again." She said making a space so he could enter and sit.

"I'm here because I've forgotten my jacket." He said picking it up and leaving again.

"Ok, this was shorter than I imagined." She told to herself and laid on bed ready to sleep.

Meanwhile, Elliot has just arrived to his house and sat on the couch, where he fell asleep.

This night was different, something was different there. Maybe it was because it was her first death anniversary, maybe it was just that.

'He heard a knock on the door, and carefully stood up to open the door. It was cold outside, he could tell.

He thought he was going crazy when he saw that woman on his door way. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, instead his eyes were full with tears.

The woman neared him and kissed him, for the first time in their lives. She was warm and sweet. She was back, he knew from the way she had knocked that she was back with him.

Slowly and gentle, he started to unbutton her shirt and started to kiss her neck and chest. But there was something different in her now, maybe it has been a whole year since he'd seen her, but he knew there was something different.

It was like if he was so close to her but at the same time far away. He's missed her so much this year.

When he started to caress her back, he noted there wasn't any scar there. Her skin was soft but there wasn't any scar.

If the bullet had entered from her back, there must be a scar. He broke apart to ask her about it, but there was no one there. He was alone in his living room, again.'

He opened his eyes abruptly when the dream ended. Another dream about her! This time was different, he had never dreamed about her like this. He's always dreamed about the day when she was killed and the way she looked.

Rebecca Hendrix jumped from her bed when she heard another knock on her front door. It was Elliot again!

When she opened the door she could say he was different from the Elliot that came to her house two hours ago.

"Come in." she only said and both sat on the couch with a coffee in their hands.

"I'm sorry to bother you at this time in night, but I feel that I need to tell you about my dream." He said and she nodded.

"She came to my house and kissed me. I kissed her back and started to take off her shirt and when I stroked her back there wasn't any scar, it was weird. She must have a scar because she was shot." Elliot said walking around the room over and over again.

"Elliot try to calm down." She started standing up and placing a caring hand on his back.

"I try to calm down Becca, but this just seemed too real for me, and I can't go on like this. I feel very deep in my heart that she's still alive." He said sitting on her couch putting his hand on his face, trying to cover himself, from whom?

"I know it's hard. But I ran out of things to tell you, so if you decide just to don't come here anymore, I would understand. It is hard forgetting about someone and at the same time thinking she's alive." Rebecca Hendrix said really understanding what was happening with him.

After a short but deep conversation with Rebecca, he went home to sleep, it was late and he needed his rest.

CHAPTER FIVE: Someone new.

The next morning it was exactly the same from the other ones. But this time, he felt that he had a little of hope. Hope? It was hard to believe that someone is alive when you were the one who saw her dieing in your arms.

But on the other hand, it was not only hope, it was a necessity. He needed to believe that she was alive in order not to die. Some people thought he had gone crazy or miserable. It was true, he did is miserable, but not crazy.

It was maybe the shock of thinking that she was gone, that made him feel this way about life. He was sure that in the future, he didn't know when, but he was going to find her.

Don called him to his office because he had something to tell him. Don had noticed that he was cold and antisocial, but he didn't tell him anything, he just understood.

"Do you want me to see you?" Elliot asked once he was inside his office and sitting on a chair in front of Don's desk.

"Yes. I've been thinking that you needed company, so I hired a new partner for you. Her name is Wendy Peterson." He said smiling, trying to help him with something.

"I don't want a new partner; you know that nobody would replace Olivia." Elliot said coldly really trying to avoid those tears to fell down.

"I know, but I think she's going to help you." He said making her enter his office.

Wendy was brunette and with green eyes. She was probably 25 and it was notable that she's just come out from college. There was an air of hope and passion about her job in her eyes, which made Elliot feel veteran.

Don left his office to give them a little of privacy. "I'm Elliot Stabler." Elliot said nearing the young woman which seemed very anxious being near him.

"I'm Wendy Peterson, I'm very glad to meet you. I've always heard from you and your fantastic partner Olivia Benson. By the way, where's she?" This woman asked.

He knew that she would ask about Olivia and he knew he had to answer.

"Olivia was killed a year ago." He said calm and trying to be as calm as possible.

"I'm very sorry, I didn't know about it." She said really sorry about it and placed a comfortable hand on his shoulder.

"It's ok. Have you ever worked in SVU?" he asked changing the subject, and she realized it.

"Nop, I've worked in homicides for a year and I wanted a change in the climate, you know what I mean." She said making a small smile.

"Yeah, sometimes I want a change too." He said looking around, trying to avoid this conversation with a kid.

"You try to avoid me because you think I'm just a kid." She said smiling. It seemed like she was used to feel like this.

CHAPTER SIX: Finally.

It has passed almost a whole year since Wendy came. She was a good woman, young, but good working.

Elliot hasn't gone with Rebecca since the last time and he could say he was the same. He was still having those strange dreams. He couldn't just forget her, she was everything.

His dreams were always the same thing, when he started to stroke her back there was no scar there. He broke apart to look at her and she wasn't there anymore.

This night he was with Wendy having a beer sitting on his couch. It was the first beer and he felt he wanted Wendy to leave.

"I think I should go." She said smiling and leaving. Probably her boyfriend must be worried, it was 9pm and she was still outside.

He just stayed there, sitting and thinking. This was just unreal, she couldn't be death. Damn it! It has been two long, damn, painful, dark years!

There was a knock on his door, like every night. This knock was followed by a short sob.

He opened the door like every night and she was standing there. She was with her eyes full with tears and pain and he moved apart to make her enter.

"When did I fall asleep?" he asked this time. He wanted these dreams to stop, he couldn't see her every night, this was making him die.

She didn't answered and just stared at him confused, crying. Both sat on his couch just staring at each other.

"Let me touch your back and this can be over, I can't stand it anymore." He said nearing her.

"What are you talking about?" she asked crying and anyone could say that she loves him very deep.

"I dream about you every damn night, and when I kiss you, touch you, and stroke you're back I found no scar there." He explained but he wasn't looking at her.

"You dream that?" she asked and when he nodded she wiped many tears away from her face.

She took his hand in hers and guided it to her warm low back. He broke apart abruptly and confused. He started to shake his head staring at her at the same time. His eyes were full with tears in a second. "This can't be true." He said nearing her.

She nodded crying and took his hand again. This time she placed it on her chest, to let him feel her heart beating. Meanwhile she placed her hand on his chest to feel the same thing. "This is real." She said wiping his tears off his face with her hand.

He kissed her lips softly and both cried in each other's arms while they were kissing.

"I love you." She said between kisses "There're many things we need to talk about El," she said and he continued kissing her.

He wrapped his arms around her body to make the kiss deeper. She was so beautiful and sweet. He didn't even imagined that something like this could have ever happened to him over these two years.

He put one of his hands on her cheek and stroked it softly while he continued kissing her. He just couldn't stop, couldn't put away, he needed her.

"I love you." He said when he broke apart to take a little of air in his lungs. After this short second he continued kissing her until they were both on his bed kissing.

A whole hour later they were in each other's arms just relaxing. With one hand he was stroking her naked back, until he found her scar and stopped.

She knew that he was asking something without really saying those words. "I was in WPP." She answered shortly.

"What happened? The guy was killed or he's in prison?" he asked wanting to know and to stay in this moment for ever and ever and ever and ever.

There was an air of sadness and scariness in what she was about to say. It was something she had forgotten in the moment she saw him again. "I ran away from there." She answered. She had run away from LA where she was kept from being killed.

"Oh my God." He whispered and hugged her for some minutes trying not to cry in front of this gorgeous woman.

One, deep tear fell down her cheek as she continued with her story. "I couldn't take it anymore. I saw you once, outside the 1-6. I was in my car looking at you and suddenly the federals appeared and took me away from there." She said and hided her face on his neck.

He closed his eyes and cried in silence. Silent tears fell down and he tried not to make any noise. But after all, he let out a short sob.

When she heard it she lifted her head from his neck and look at him. She placed her lips on top of his and captured his in a kiss. "I love you." She whispered.

He put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her for another kiss. "I love you too." He whispered and they fell asleep.

CHAPTER SEVEN: Re-meeting everyone.

The next morning he woke up like always, but this time he wasn't alone in his bed. He had one arm around her waist and his other hand was taken by her.

She woke up some seconds after he had. They couldn't smile. There wasn't any smile at all.

It was going to pass some time until they would smile again.

He stroked her face slowly and she woke up. They had a shower and ate breakfast before going to the squad room again.

This was going to be very different form all the times she had been in the squad room. After these two years people might have changed and go on, but she had to make this small step once again.

He could tell she was scared when they were in the elevator. She wasn't looking at him, she was lost. That's why he took her hand a second before the door opened.

They walked out of the elevator together and slowly. This place where she had worked so many years seemed so different now. The people were practically the same but the air was different.

No-one turned around when they entered, so Elliot called them and they did turn around this time. Fin was writing on his computer and he stopped when he saw Olivia there. He thought that this was an illusion but when she started to cry he knew it wasn't.

He stood up without talking and neared her. He put a hand on her cheek and hugged her. Crying in her arms seemed so real and complete, which was something very powerful to tolerate. When he broke apart he asked so many questions, which she answered slowly.

When Munch entered, he dropped his cup of coffee immediately. Her hair was longer and she was very different, but he knew it was her. He has been waiting for this moment for a very long time.

He was shocked and confused about this situation. But hugging her and crying in her arms was the only thing he could do.

Wendy probably figured out who she was, and she had to admit that she was extremely happy about this, but there was a little part of her that was jealous.

When Elliot told her the first time what had happened to Olivia, she cried with him. She could realize how much he loved her that's why she was jealous. No-one had loved her as much as Elliot loves Olivia.

When Olivia neared the young woman, she smiled. Wendy knew she was beautiful. "I'm Olivia Benson." Liv said.

"Yes, I know." Wendy said smiling. "I'm very glad that you're alive." She said smiling with some tears on her eyes. Olivia hugged her for some seconds.

After crying with everyone there, she walked to the cribs but stood there when she realized that Elliot and Wendy were there.


	2. Chapter 2

After crying with everyone, she walked to the cribs but stood and waited when she realized Elliot and Wendy were in there.

She had only been back a day but she knew Elliot was in love with her, as she was with him. However, watching him being so close to another woman was breaking her heart. They weren't kissing but from the look on Wendy's face she knew she was in love with him.

Olivia could see Wendy was crying and suddenly Elliot hugged her and placed a small kiss on her forehead. They had been partners for two years and had grown closer but he could honestly say they had never crossed the line.

Wendy could remember the first time they talked about what had happened  
to Olivia. It was so hard for him, it was the first time he could tell  
anyone but Rebecca about the fact that he loved Olivia. From that moment  
she could understand why it was so hard to Elliot for go on.

It was also the moment Wendy realized she had feelings for her new partner. She wasn't sure if it was love or just the trust she had in him. It was a couple of months ago she realized it was love and she needed to tell him the truth.

As Wendy broke away she placed a hand on his chest. He was surprised, it  
was the first time he was so close to her. The truth was that he saw her as  
a little girl he needed to protect. He wasn't attracted to her, he just  
appreciated her.

Wendy knew she needed to tell him what she felt to see what happened.

"El, I know Olivia is the woman in your life and that you love her but I'm in love with you," she whispered and tried to gauge the reaction in his eyes. "I'll transfer because after this moment I won't be able to work with you anymore, so…can you just give me one kiss and I promise I'll disappear."

Elliot was amazed and he knew his reply would be difficult for her to hear.

"I can't. Wendy, you're an amazing woman…but I don't feel the same about you and …I just can't," he said. Tears started to fall down her cheeks. He hugged her again and kissed her head. "Don't cry, it's not worth it."

Olivia wiped tears from her eyes and smiled. She was so in love with him but she could also understand Wendy's position. As Wendy walked away from the cribs she ran into Olivia. Wendy opened her mouth to speak but Olivia stopped her.

"It's ok, Wendy. Take care of yourself, you're a good woman."

Olivia entered the cribs and Elliot stared at her, his eyes full of tears. Just knowing she wasn't dead gave him hope, a reason to go on. He walked slowly towards her and she did the same. She hugged him tightly and hid her wet face in his neck – it was a way of protecting herself from the reality. Slowly he stroked her back and kissed her head.

They both knew their lives had changed completely from the moment she appeared in his doorway. They both loved each other so much the feeling was overwhelming. They knew from this moment they would have each other through life.


End file.
